A few 12 months in the past, Isabel Steckel texted her 30-year-old older brother about hanging out the next afternoon. She acquired a one-word reply: “Positive.”
“Should you’re bringing ‘positive’ angle, then let’s not do it,” Steckel countered. “And he stated, ‘lol,’ and I stated, ‘I’m not kidding, lol.’”
This Might, the New York Metropolis-based comic shared a screenshot of this dialog on X, previously Twitter, and acquired greater than 11,000 likes. The “positive” haters rose as much as share how answering “positive” sounds passive and dispiriting. A “positive” texter apologized in a reply for the violence he had “inflicted whereas attempting to seem simple and breezy.”
That is solely the most recent entry in a perennial and repeatedly divisive debate over what “positive” actually means. One Reddit person within the subreddit for “unpopular opinions” declared that the phrase “positive” is “synonymous with ‘sure’ and shouldn’t be related to sarcasm and angle,” whereas a commentator for the Define wrote in 2018 that the phrase is “probably the most passive-aggressive affirmative phrase” that’s “a thumbs as much as your face, and a jerkoff movement behind your again.”
Clearly, we aren’t positive about what “positive” ought to imply.
Though the dictionary which means of “positive” is affirmation and certainty, its which means could be something however sure however in a textual content dialog.
Why “positive” sounds so passive and indecisive in texts, in line with a sociolinguist
Steckel stated the phrase’s which means is context dependent. She famous that replying “positive” for an errand or activity is okay, but it surely sounds extra devastating to listen to when you find yourself inviting somebody to spend time with you.
“Asking somebody to hang around for me is sort of a very susceptible transfer. So after I’m getting that ‘positive,’ I’m like, ‘Alright, fuck it. I’m not doing it,’” she stated.
Steckel stated a “positive” reply seems like the opposite individual would relatively “die than hang around” and “forcing somebody to hang around with you is the worst feeling on this planet.”
The issue with “positive” is that it sounds extra tentative and fewer enthusiastic than an outright “sure!” or “completely,” particularly if you do not need physique language or vocal cues to reassure you.
“Positive is form of indecisive, or has form of a hesitant high quality to it. Like, ‘Do need to go to the films?’ ‘Positive.’ Do you actually need to go?” defined Georgetown College sociolinguist Cynthia Gordon.
Gordon stated the totally different meanings of “positive” may additionally be generational. “The youthful technology expects extra enthusiasm in texting typically than older people do,” she stated. She additionally famous that “ladies are inclined to anticipate extra of these specific markers of enthusiasm.”
In a textual content, the size of a message also can tackle outsized significance within the absence of in-person cues. Just like why a one-word “OK” or “ok” reply sounds so alarming and curt to obtain, shorter solutions suggest lesser effort.
In the meantime, Gordon stated that the trouble to put in writing a full sentence or to put in writing some further exclamation factors suggests, “Yeah, I actually am smitten by this.”
It’s why a one-word “positive” stirs doubt, however “positive factor” ― my very own normal reply ― can sound barely extra real, in case you are really all the way down to observe by means of on a request.
One useful tip when you do get a bland “positive” is to take a step again and do not forget that it’s not robotically an indication of disinterest. Gordon stated each individual thinks their very own means of communication is the pure means and “all of us should be extra beneficiant in our interpretations.”
Gordon cited the “Key & Peele” sketch between comedians Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele as a basic instance of this. Within the video, “there’s a complete miscommunication simply because one individual misinterprets the opposite’s form of brief, informal messages as being like, ‘I don’t care, I don’t care.’ However that’s not what’s happening,” Gordon defined.
Within the sketch, it’s not till the anxious buddy character sees his smiling buddy’s face on the bar that he realizes that his buddy truly needed to hang around with him. It’s a reminder that in-person intonation can present extra invaluable details about the state of your relationship than only a one-word “positive” textual content.
However till you meet up in-person, it doesn’t harm to present your dialog accomplice slightly extra reassurance.
“I’d be much less comfortable if I invited somebody someplace they usually stated, ‘Positive.’ I feel I’d need extra enthusiasm for some social form of engagement,” Gordon stated. “Should you’re making the trouble to attach with any person, and form of put it on the market that you simply do one thing collectively and the opposite individual says, ‘positive,’ it wouldn’t meet my expectations for suggesting it was going to be an excellent time.“
Padding your “positive” with a cheerful exclamation and even an additional phrase or two could make it clearer that you’re really agreeable to what the opposite individual is saying. “I do assume a ‘positive’ with an exclamation level is worlds totally different than only a regular ‘positive,’” Steckel stated.
All to say: You could be “positive,” otherwise you could be “positive!” Do you need to presumably ship your buddy or member of the family into an anxious spiral or do you need to spend one extra second including that bubbly exclamation level or further phrase?
